Meet Our Team
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Bob is one of newest members and welcomes the opportunity to help you with the purchase of your next home eventually leading to your next mortgage default and your personal financial bankruptcy. Bob specializes in and gains extreme pleasure from collecting his commission from naïve single mothers with severely disabled children who buy houses which they cannot afford.
Bob believes that the purchase of a new home should not only provide a secure area for a successful grow op but also, if needed during the winter months, a suitable spot for a Ukrainian teenage boy prostitution ring. These are two facets of home owning that he takes great pride in delivering.
If the qualities you are looking for in an agent include disgusting, creepy, and pedophilia then this is your “man”.
Happy Birthday Brian
The Sacred Vow of Marriage
Congratulations to Ed and Nerissa, Nick and Chantelle on their pending marriages!
Which brings me to my next point.
I remember when Chris Colley impregnated a girl and he asked me for advice. I said “Chris, you have to do the right thing and be a man. You have to own up to your responsibilities and be accountable for your actions.” I think he understood what I meant.
The next day he took this girl out on a daytrip in Toronto, where they went to Toronto Island and enjoyed a picnic in the sun, walked on Queen West and perused the boutiques, and as the night approached he had a very special surprise for this girl. He took her up to one of the most romantic restaurants in the city, the 360 degree at the top of the CN Tower. He was nervous, and even before the appetizers came he told the girl that he had something very important to tell her, but because of his stage fright, he didn’t want to stumble over his words in front of a large group of people. He asked if he could bring her to the hallway where they could have a little more privacy. This girl, knowing what was coming, obliged and became ecstatic of the impending question that she would undoubtedly say yes to.
When they got to the hallway, he found the closest stairwell and pushed her down it.
Chris Colley pushed the mother of his unborn child down the longest flight of stairs in the world.
Chris Colley doesn’t take chances.
And that’s why I say to both Nick and Ed; you have options."
Happy Birthday Nadine
Colleen Turns 25...Time for an intervention.
A Huge Happy Birthday to the Number 1 Fan of theleatherchaps.com! Which brings me to my next point; Colleen needs to take a good, long, hard look at what she is doing with her life. Being the number 1 fan of theleatherchaps.com is like being congratulated on having AIDS.
That being said, here is a little tribute to Colleen:
Colleen, Drunk.
Colleen, Drunk.
Colleen, Drunk.
Colleen, Drunk.
Colley, Eyes Open. Colleen, Drunk.
Colleen, Drunk.
Colleen, Drunk.
Happy Birthday Puss-Muffin.
Love,
The Leather Chaps
Happy Birthday Cody Coleman
It is simply just not enough for us to put up a picture of you, say happy birthday, and call it a day. We also have to include the greatest thing you've ever accomplished in your 25 year tenure. Here it is, at approximately the 54 second mark.
Tyler Straatman Saves Lives When He's Not Saving Lives
London, ON - On December 31, 2008, the Mongolian Grill in London, Ontario was caught ablaze, but luckily no one was injured thanks to the courageous actions of a local respiratory therapist. Tyler Straatman, 24, just got off work at a local hospital when he instinctively guided occupants of the restaurant onto the street after smelling smoke coming from the kitchen. Witnesses say he then attempted to run back into the restaurant before a stranger grabbed him by the arm and told him it was not safe to go back inside. Tyler turned to the man and said "I'm an RT damn it." He then came out 5 minutes later with a plate of Shanghai Noodles and Guinness Beef covered in Red Pepper Thai sauce.
When the fire department finally showed up on the scene, Fire Chief Brendan O'Brien had this to say about the local hero:
"This could have been disastrous had there not been an experienced RT on the scene at the time of the fire. Had he not reacted so quickly and with such expertise, I'm sure this fire would have taken out a city block. He saved at least 300 lives, and that's not including the lives of those he saved at the hospital today."
Colleen Chapman, another witness to the event, said that Tyler Straatman is in fact no hero, and should actually be ashamed of his actions when the fire occurred.
"He (Tyler) just stood there, staring at the fire in the basement. When the staff tried to look for the fire extinguishers, he tried to take the Tip Jar off the Chef's counter. They had to wrestle the Tip Jar from him before they could continue to look for ways to put out the fire. Tyler might as well have just poured gasoline all over the place."
"Natural Harvest – An Inspirational Collection of Semen-Based Recipes”
It is about time that some genius came up with a way to fully optimize the wonderful cooking properties, delectable texture and extraordinary health benefits that the male ejaculate has to offer. Gone are the days of whacking it into a freshly opened bag of Miss Vickies to get that freshly salted taste. These recipes include the fan favorites “The Almost White Russian” and “Creamy Cum Crepes”. Unfortunately, in all of these recipes the semen content is fairly low (1 tablespoon, a half ounce etc.) WTF? WE NEED MORE SEMEN! You can not relegate the leading man to a supporting role. Spunk filled delicacies are in order.
I have taken the liberty of concocting my own recipe for your enjoyment.
“Man-milk Shake”
½ ounce of milk
1 teaspoon of chocolate
2 litres of semen
Blend Gently and Enjoy. Now that is delicious.
Guess Who's 24? This Douchebag.
November 21st, 2008 - From everyone here at theleatherchaps.com, very warm and tender birthday wishes are in order for the co-founder and co-creator of this wonderful site. May your upper lip always be coated with thick mustache, and your enemies bedrooms always thinly coated in your semen. Happy birthday dude!