Where There is Nothing as Appropriate as Being Inappropriate
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A Topic That Hits Close to Home
According to medical researchers, 1 in 3 men suffer from pre-mature ejaculation. After an independent study done by theleatherchaps.com, it turns out that 2 out of every 2 men suffer from this disease. That's why we have decided to post this video, to let you know that you are not alone.
Owen Wilson Accidentally Calls Friend "Brud"
Over the weekend, Owen Wilson was overheard having trouble finding an affectionate term for one of his friends, and in a sentence that should have ended in ‘bro’, Owen decided at the last minute to replace it with ‘bud.’ Reputable sources have told theleatherchaps.com that after all was said and done, the sentence ended up like this:
“Would you like another beer, brud?”
His friend pretended not to notice in fear Owen might try to kill himself again. More details to follow once they become available.
Pamela Anderson-Lee-Rock + Powder = Love ??
After being engulfed in lighting and magically disappearing in a blinding flash of multi-colored light in 1995 Jeremy Reed, better known as Powder, made his triumphant return to the spotlight at a recent Hollywood gala on the arm of girlfriend Pamela Anderson. A friend close to the couple says that they have been chatting online (well Pam online, Powder through telepathic radio waves transmitted via satellite) for some time and have decided to finally make it official.
Pam: Pow Pow, why do you look so strange?
Powder: I am an albino and suffer from a severe case of alopecia. My mother was struck by lighting whilst I was in the womb.
Pam: Hehehe, those words sound funny.
Powder: Pamela, I have the highest IQ in the history of mankind. I once relayed the emotions of a dying deer to a human simply by touching them. Can you please try to not act so incompetent?
Pam (blank stare): ?
Powder: Do you even understand what I am saying?
Pam: Look at my boobies.
Powder: Those are some fine boobies.
When ex-husbands Tommy Lee and Kid Rock were asked for comment on their former loves new relationship, Mr.Rock simply yelled “I’m a Cowboy” while Tommy Lee undid his zipper revealing his penis. No news yet on the meaning of these comments.
Oh. Apparently Powder is a fictional character and doesn’t actually “exist.” Why do these filmmakers continually blur the line between fact and fiction? Next thing you know some smart ass is going to be spreading the rumour that Tim Allen isn’t actually The Santa Claus. PROPOSTEROUS!
Heath Ledger to Star in Batman Sequel
Reports are circulating throughout Hollywood that Heath Ledger, star of The Dark Knight, is about to reprise his role as the Joker in the up and coming Batman sequel. A representative from Mr. Ledgers talent agency, commented on their decision to move ahead with Heaths latest (and last) career move: “That guy from Weekend at Bernies was dead and he made what, like two decent movies? Tupac has released six albums since he died. I don’t think it is too much to ask Heath for ONE more movie. I heard from a somewhat reliable source that Leonardo Dicaprio was in a drug induced coma for the entire production of Titanic. Look at how that little beauty turned out.”
Mr.Ledger was not available for comment however that little creepshow kid from The Sixth Sense and Medium star Patricia Arquette are seeing what they can “dig up”. Pun intended.
Why are you staring at your computer screen with that look of disappointment upon your face? Too soon?
Lynne Spears References the Bible
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL— After comparing the positive spins the media has put on Bristol Palin's pregnancy, Lynne Spears has called daughter Jamie Lynne Spears treatment by the media during her recent pregnancy a "crucifixion."
When reached for comment, Jesus said “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Clay Aiken is GAY!
In the most recent issue of PEOPLE magazine Clay Aiken announced to the world that he is, in fact, a gay dad.
This “shocking” news is about as groundbreaking as discovering that George W. Bush doesn’t have an IQ of 140 or that the guy with the Bluetooth is a douchebag.
Aiken says he expects the news may overwhelm some of his fans. HAHAHA!!! If any of his “fans” are overwhelmed by this news they are also overwhelmed by having to decide which socks to wear in the morning and what to have for breakfast. This would explain why they are fans of Clay Aiken. I suppose if you can’t make rational and logical decisions Clay Aiken would seem like the cats pajamas.
Nicholas Cage: Grows Moustache / Becomes Pedophilia Suspect
Los Angeles – A highly investigated Child Pornography ring has began to unveil itself after actor Nicholas Cage appeared at the opening of his new movie Bangkok Dangerous with what may as well have been an “Arrest Me!” sign attached to his upper lip. The star of National Treasure: Books of Secrets, The Weatherman, Windtakers, Ghost Rider and many lesser known Hollywood hits was not originally a suspect in the investigation however police became suspicious after they were tipped of on illicit facial hair growth in recent weeks.
A friend of Mr.Cage’s who has asked to remain anonymous said of the fiasco; “I always knew Nick loved kids, but growing a moustache? Come on! I mean at least hide your man love with a beard or fu man chu.”
A recent study conducted at The University of Southern California has found that a shocking 97% of pedophiliacs have been previously, or are currently, involved in the growing and upkeep of moustaches
Janeane Garofalo Downgraded to Citizen With Access to Microphone
LOS ANGELES, CA – The Comedy Writers and Performers Association of America (CWPAA) has announced today that they are downgrading Janeane Garofalo from “Comedian” to “Citizen with Access to a Microphone” says chairman of the CWPAA Roger Silverstein. “We have always had the stance that Ms. Garofalo not be associated with the comedians of America, and today I am glad to make this announcement official.”
This news comes on the heels of reports that Garofalo, who was scheduled to play the role of former porn star Vanessa Del Rio in the upcoming movie “The Latin from Manhattan”, has had the role stripped of her by actress Rosario Dawson.
In a related news story, hundreds of males removed their penis from the tracks of the subway stations just minutes before the 6:15 rolled in.